


Pineapple on Pizza

by names_are_a_mystery_to_me



Category: DCU, Green Lantern - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, bruce wayne eats pineapple pizza, just some fluff i was inspired to write, the justice league orders pizza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:21:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24075100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/names_are_a_mystery_to_me/pseuds/names_are_a_mystery_to_me
Summary: During an all-night Watchtower repair marathon, Hal Jordan gets sent down to Earth for pizza. Batman orders his pizza with pineapple, and battle lines are quickly drawn.
Kudos: 34





	Pineapple on Pizza

The teleporter deposited Hal in the meager parking lot of a strip mall in Central City, and immediately a man in a pickup truck slammed on his breaks to avoid hitting him. The guy leaned on his horn, and Hal used his ring to construct an air horn and respond in kind. The guy lifted his arms in the universal gesture of “What the hell, man!”

The bell above the door tinkled as Hal entered the only business in the mall still open this late. “Nice teleporter job, asshat,” Hal hissed into his comm. “I nearly got run over.”

“Just complete the mission and return to the Watchtower,” Batman ordered. Hal rolled his eyes so hard Spooky probably felt it in space. Jesus Christ, it was just a pizza run, no need to be all Batman about it.

At two in the morning, the only people in Barry’s favourite pizza joint were a young woman enveloped by her oversized hoodie and a short, fat man clattering away in the kitchen.

The woman glanced up from her phone and did a double-take. She lifted up her phone, and then hesitated. Hal smiled and flashed a peace sign in response, and she took his picture. He wasn’t usually on Earth, which meant he didn’t get as many opportunities to soak up public adoration. He’d take it where he could get it.

The man in the kitchen pulled a pizza out of the oven and boxed it, setting it on the counter where the young woman took it and disappeared from the premises. “Welcome to Pizza Junction, I’m Dave, what can I do for you?”

Hal pulled out his phone and opened the notepad app. “Can I get one cheese, three pepperoni, one Hawaiian, one with literally everything on it, and two ‘Flash Specials’.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what a Flash Special is and I don’t want to know, but he said you’d understand.”

“You’re a friend of the Flash?” Dave asked, as he punched the order into the cash register. The total was higher than Hal was expecting, but it wasn’t like he was the one paying for it. For all that Batman had been outvoted on where to get food, he’d still insisted on paying for it.

“Yeah. We’re having a Justice League party.” Hal handed over the money and stuffed a generous portion of it into the tip jar. “Well, as much of a party as you can have with Batman around.”

“Your comm’s open,” Batman growled in his ear.

The Watchtower had taken significant damage in a recent alien-related incident, and they were having an all-nighter making repairs. Unfortunately, the damage had included their entire kitchen and store of food being obliterated into nothingness, hence the pizza run.

Hal bounced on his toes as Dave worked away at the large order. It was a cozy little place, without room for seating. It wasn’t ‘nice’ even compared to other Pizza Junctions, but it was impeccably clean, and there was a signed picture on the wall of Dave with the Flash.

The door bell jangled, and Hal looked over to see a kid in shorts, so obviously stoned that he almost laughed, who stared at Hal for a long moment. Right then, Dave returned to the counter with a stack of pizza boxes.

Hal picked up the boxes, and decided to mess with the stoner kid. “Alright, beam me up, Scotty,” he said into his comm, and he heard a frustrated grunt on the other end before the teleporter locked onto him and he disappeared in a flash of light.

Everyone took a break from repairs once he got back to the Watchtower, all of them gathering around the conference table to eat since their dining room was in fragments in Earth’s orbit. Barry tucked into his “Flash Specials” with enthusiasm, J’onn got his pizza-with-literally-everything-on-it, and Batman, the absolute cretin, got his Hawaiian pizza.

“Fighting crime is our job, right?” Hal asked around a mouthful of perfectly sensible pepperoni pizza. “Well we need to start with _that_.” He gestured at Batman with his crust. “Pineapple. On pizza. I felt like an accessory to murder just ordering that monstrosity.”

“I do not see anything wrong with it,” J’onn offered. “I think pineapple tastes quite good on pizza.”

“You’re eating the most disgusting pizza I’ve ever seen in my life, so I’m not taking your opinion seriously. Also, you’re wrong.”

The battle lines were drawn. In the pro-pineapple and pro-eating-whatever-pizza-makes-you-happy camp, there was J’onn, Superman, Wonder Woman, and presumably Batman, since he was the one eating it, although he didn’t say so much as a word in his own defence. In the anti-pineapple camp was Hal, backed up by Barry and Aquaman, but Barry’s own taste was called into question on account of the Flash Special being almost as gross as J’onn’s everything pizza.

The debate continued through the wee hours of the morning, although time wasn’t entirely real in space, with pineapple being hotly debated over the comms as they repaired the worst of the damage to the Watchtower and cleared away debris so more repairs could be made.

As day rolled around and more junior members of the league showed up to help, Hal interrogated all of them for their stance on pineapple on pizza until Batman finally ordered him to get some rest. He was pretty sure Batman was going to stay awake until the Watchtower was fully operational again, but he, at least, needed sleep.

As he drifted off in his (thankfully not destroyed) room in the Watchtower, he added “likes pineapple on his pizza” to his list of “Reasons Why Batman Isn’t Normal”. Right under “doesn’t sleep”.


End file.
